|Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. - George Carlin|
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Traveling Blonde Jokes
It seems that blondes have a particularly hard time making travel plans. Here's proof:
Aisle vs Window Seat
Did you hear about the blonde who asked for an aisle seat on the airplane? She didn't want her hair to get messed up sitting by the window.
A Clear View
While making plans with a travel agent for a trip to Europe, the blonde asked, "Can you see England from Canada?"
"No," replied the travel agent, a bit stunned.
"But they look so close on the map."
Hawaii Here I Come
A blonde was planning a trip to Hawaii. After getting the details about a package deal, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
A blonde called the airlines to make a reservation to Capetown. As the ticket agent started to explain the details of the trip - length of the flight, passport information, etc. - the blonde interrupted him and said, "I don't want to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without having to try to make the blonde look stupid, the ticket agent said, "Capetown is in South Africa. Cape Cod is in Massachusetts."
The blonde called her travel agent, furious about the hotel reservations she had gotten for her trip to Orlando. "What is the problem?" asked the travel agent.
"I specifically told you I wanted a room with an ocean view."
The travel agent tried to explain to her that Orlando is in the middle of the state.
"Don't lie to me," she said. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.
A blonde asked her travel agent to make reservations for a car in Dallas. The agent looked at her reservation and saw that she only had a one hour layover in Dallas. "Why would you need a car?" he asked.
"Well, I've heard that Dallas is a large airport. I thought I'd use a car to drive between gates to save time."
The blonde called the airlines to ask how her flight could leave Chicago at 10:30 a.m. and arrive at Detroit at 10:33 a.m. the same day. The agent explained that Detroit is an hour ahead of Chicago. The blonde simply could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, the agent said that the plane flew really fast. That did it.
Whose Luggage Is It?
The blonde was angry and called the airline to ask if they put your physical description on your luggage so they could tell to whom it belonged. It seems that on her trip to Fresno Air Terminal they had put FAT on her luggage.
Flight Number What?
A blonde called the airline to ask how she was supposed to know which plane to get on. Her flight number was 544, but none of the planes had numbers on them.
A Really Short Flight
The blonde called her travel agent and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi Cola. Do I need to get on one of those computer planes?"
A blonde was making a reservation for a trip to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, the reservation agent reminder her that she needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't. I've been to China several times and I've never needed one."
The agent double checked and, sure enough, there was a visa requirement. When he told this to the blonde, she said, "Look, mister. I've been to China five times and I never had any trouble with them accepting my American Express."
Rhino, New York
The blonde called to make a reservation. She told the agent she wanted to fly to Rhino, New York. The agent, not knowing of a town called Rhino, asked if she was sure that was the name of the place. The blonde insisted, so the agent searched through every air port code in the country.
"I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't find a Rhino anywhere," he said.
"Don't be silly. It's a big city. Everyone knows where it is. Look at your map," said the blonde.
The agent did and came back to the phone. "Ma'am," he said, "Could it be Buffalo?"
"Whatever," she said, "I knew it was some big animal.
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